


betas gone wild

by afrocurl



Series: other office disasters [1]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Crack, M/M, X-Men First Class Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-13
Updated: 2012-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-07 15:57:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another heat cycle has arrived at Hellfire Incorporated, leaving office betas Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr alone in the office. How do they survive without an office full of colleagues?</p>
            </blockquote>





	betas gone wild

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unforgotten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforgotten/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Беты в отрыве](https://archiveofourown.org/works/598527) by [Amorph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amorph/pseuds/Amorph)



> Mind the tags, please. Pure crack. But we all like that, right?
> 
> There is also now a Russian translation, available [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/598527) done by Amorph.

TO: Employees of Hellfire Incorporated  
FROM: Shaw and Stryker, CEOs  
DATE: June 1, 2012

RE: Heat Cycles

Heat Cycles are about to begin, and we’d like to remind all alphas and omegas to remember to use your company mandated days to spend the time at home.

Betas, remember that during heat cycles, you are expected to report to work and complete all work that would be done were we working at full force. Your compensation is time and half.

SS and WS

-

“FUCK THIS SHIT I hate this time of the quarter. It’s the worst!”

“Erik, calm down, please. It not the best time, but remember, it’s just us for that week. You can’t get on Logan’s nerves if he’s not here.”

“Whatever, I have to do all Logan’s shitty work while he’s at home getting fucked by Scott. How is any of that fair?”

“It’s not really fair, but at least it’s quiet. We’re not subjected to anyone making doe eyes from across cubicles, and you don’t have to listen to anything from Sean’s mouth.”

“Stop trying to make this sound better than it is. It’s not. We’re _alone_ in the office, and doing the work of another fourteen people while they’re off making babies.”

“Well, at least we don’t have to watch them do any of that. I really don’t need to imagine Shaw and Stryker.”

“Oh man, stop that. Now I won’t get that image out of my head for the day. You’re shunned until you can find something else for me to imagine.”

“What if we spent next week trying to be as disgusting as possible around the office so that when they’re back from Heat Week...”

“You’re willing to do that next week?”

“Why not? It’s not like anyone will really know how much work we get done. It’s also not like every other office isn’t doing the same thing.”

“You, Charles Xavier, have the best ideas. Shall we plan over drinks tonight?”

“Why not?”

-

TO: Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier  
FROM: Shaw and Stryker, CEOs  
DATE: June 4, 2012

Re: Office Etiquette

Please remember that during Heat Week, there are cameras installed. Be aware that your actions are being monitored.

We keep ourselves up to date with all actions of Hellfire employees during Heat Cycles, regardless of location.

SS and WS

-

“You know that means we need to have sex all over the office, right?”

“Where shall we start, Erik?”

-

TO: Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier  
FROM: Shaw and Stryker, CEOs  
DATE: June 5, 2012

Re: Billable Hours

Please remember that accounting will monitor how many hours you are working this week to insure that you don’t go over the OSHA mandated 80 hour weeks for betas during Heat Cycles.

Use the time appropriately and effectively, as business must continue on as it was before when everyone returns.

The cameras are still in place, also remember.

 

SS and WS  
-

“It means we need to what, Charles?”

“Make sure we do as little work as possible while still in the office?”

“I concur.”

“Which office do you want to start in first?”

“I’ve always wanted to get lube all over Shaw’s desk.”

“Then lead the way, Erik.”

-

TO: Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier  
FROM: Shaw and Stryker, CEOs  
DATE: June 6, 2012

Re: Housekeeping

Please remember that most of the custodial staff is also on leave this week. Be kind when thinking about how clean you leave the office.

As if to repeat a point again, there are cameras operating in all the offices to monitor the security and integrity of the office.

SS and WS

-

“Please drop the condom in Logan’s desk. I just want to see his face when he opens his drawer for his mid-morning Milky Way bar to see that.”

“You know he’ll kick your ass.”

“Great, Charles. Then I’ll be on Workman’s Comp for a few weeks and can get away from all their mushing over how they all have little buns in the oven.”

“But you’ll leave me to be here next month without anyone.”

“Oh shit. Okay. Why not put it in Emma’s desk?”

“That’s a better option, Erik? Her heels?”

“MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Hank then?

“He wouldn’t hurt a fly. Well, he wouldn’t hurt you, Charles. Let’s be honest.”

-

TO: Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier  
FROM: Shaw and Stryker, CEOs  
DATE: June 7, 2012

Re: End of Heat Week

Be advised that the office will return to normal on Monday. You are expected to arrive with everyone else at 8:30 in the morning.

Your time has been monitored by the electronic timecards along with your access around the office. Remember to respect your fellow colleagues’ personal property.

SS and WS

-

“Why don’t we just call in sick, Charles?”

“It’ll only piss off everyone and get us fired if they find _everything_ around without us.”

“But isn’t that the joy of being the only betas. We can’t be fired for not being able to reproduce like they do.”

“I don’t think this will make the best case for workplace harassment, Erik.”

“They could claim that?”

“If we’re not here, I’m sure they would. As it is, we’ll need to play nice on Monday.”

“You get the flowers. I’ll get the chocolate and golf balls.”

“Deal!”

-

TO: Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier  
CC: Hellfire Incorporated  
FROM: Shaw and Stryker, CEOs  
DATE: June 8, 2012

RE: Next Heat Cycle

The office, for the first time in our twenty-three year history, will be closed for the next Heat Cycle. Everyone will be paid accordingly, but will not be required to arrive at the office for the week.

Please use that time wisely.

SS and WS

-

“Did we make out like bandits, Charles?”

“I don’t think so, Erik.”

“Why not?”

“I’m pretty sure Shaw and Stryker know what we need this week. Pretty sure they watched everything we did this week.”

“Serves them all right. Treating us like less than them.”

“Erik, that’s extreme.”

“It’s not at all, Charles. Do you see how Moira looks at you most days? She _sneers_ at you when you can’t see. Emma giggles with her, too.”

“Really?”

“Would I lie to you after all we did this week, Charles?”

“Not really.”

“So yes, this is good. Why don’t we just spend the week at your place?”

“You’re inviting yourself over, Erik? How forward.”

“You like it, Xavier.”

“Right. So September. My place.”

“You’re on.”

“I hope so, Erik.”

-


End file.
